embedded in dark purple

deep dark purple resides on her fingertips,

like the skins of eggplant, stretched explicitly-

this reminds her of the days

when the window beckoned her name,

and the garden danced beneath her toes.

her right brain argued with her left,

her imagination craved to be set free.

in her mind,

the great barrier reef,

proposes a problem of color,

as she gazes over the edge,

into the darkest of waters,

soft reflections of yellow,

play games with her eyes.

in her heart,

the walls are dripping

with lines of love,

each person leaving their mark behind,

in this big city,

they just crave to manufacture an imprint.

the shadows twirl and whirl their way around this big empty room,

as she lays in the middle of the beautiful and dust coated floors,

breathing in every moment of history

that this old attic has offered her...

her eyes have seen the things at the end of the earth,

and her feet have been dipped in the oldest of seas

every inch of the floor is covered by

the letters, that lay worn, tattered and stained,

from every adventure that became reality.

bare

somewhere in a city, a light is shattered and its glass lay glistening in the street.

its sharp beneath her feet, bare and tired from the days behind.

with every step she feels the pains of a lost child in a desolate land over the seas.

she hears her best friend, filling up his life with other girls in towns that want him.

he tells her its all a lie. and asks why she believes it.

she knows he is hurting, but not near as much as the cuts on the bottom of her feet.

the phone lay on the floor where it last fell.

his voice still shaking on the other end.

he cries out for her to listen, he is on his knees begging her for a chance.

but that wont happen, this moment, has been in the making for 5 years straight.

he knows she is running from thing to thing, and jumping from scene to scene.

she cant help it, its all she knows.

he lays his heart gently on her sleeve,

and she runs and lets the breeze take it away.

the wind will carry his heart to another girl in another town that needs him, because she no longer does.

the atlantic divide

your ring is still on my finger,

right where you left it,

a couple of months ago.

your scent is still between my sheets

from the last time you slept here.

cold rainy days

remind me of your face,

looking for something greater.

you are now seeking and finding 

to fulfill that longing,

across the atlantic.

you sing with your new guitar,

as the people nearby loan you an ear,

and toss a few crumbled pieces in the case beneath.

your old guitar sits 

in the corner of my room,

beckoning for me to do something with it.

paint it, play it, use it.

i love you.

across the atlantic,

7 hours ahead,

your head rests on a pillow,

and i long to run my fingers through your hair.

your voice lingers day and night in my head,

and i miss you.

each day is closer to the end,

and these days are long without you.

and Lord i hope things get better.

you are admiring the seas, 

and climbing stone steps,

breathing in the history from years before.

my cry is that you would just come back,

and sweep me off my feet,

or take me back with you.

you are miles for this moment,

as i cry out for your warmth.

across the atlantic,

i wait with a smile on face,

anxious for my love.

right here in my arms

She is smiling like heaven is down on earth
Sun is shining so bright on her
And all her wishes have finally come true
And her heart is weeping. 
This happiness is killing her.

She'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go

So hard she's trying
But her heart won't turn to stone... oh no
She keeps on crying
But I won't leave her alone
She'll never be alone

She'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go

And she'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go

doors.doors.doors.

I was just recently approached with this beautiful,

hippie, coffee shop job, yes perfect for me? i know.

craaaaaapppy hours though, 6pm to 2 am. for a girl who has to get up at 7 everyday, this will just not do.at all.3 shifts of a week would mean no sleep.

money cannot seem to buy me sleep.

everything inside of me wanted to take this job, 

but what could possibly be holding me back?

was God literally telling me NO?

the lady on the other end of the phone was not the nicest, in fact she was the pushiest most stubborn boss a girl could ask for.

yes i would meet great people.

and yes i could display my awesome art,

but at the cost of what? my grades, my sleep and my social life?

yes i wanted to prove everyone wrong.that i could do it, that i could manage life on 5 hours of sleep always.

but reality socked me in the face when i realized, NO erika this isnt the best plan, yes your body would hate you.your life would be consumed by coffee and school.

can you live with that?

the thoughts in my head were ones of: Erika why are you so lazy?

what are you doin with your time?

my mind battled itself.

i then came to the conclusion that if God really wanted me to have that job, then i would get in due time.

so i shut that door, slammed it actually,

maybe out of anger that i couldnt do something i desired from deep within.

but maybe it wasnt the best for me at this moment in time.

next thing i know.

RING RING RINNNNNNG

my phone, a random number.

what is this?!

i answer reluctantly.

and i am blessed beyond relief.

loooong storrrry short,

i have was given the beautiful opportunity to be a young life leader 

at a nearby high school

Lord, why me?

i then realized this was the answer to my question,

no more laziness in your faith, Erika.

get up, get out and invest,

disciple and love.

love on kids younger than you.

so needless to say, i wont be putting money in my pockets, 

i will be filling teenager's pockets with love.

how amazing is that?

look where leaning on God can take you.

 which brings me to this verse, sent to me by my mother:

TRUST GOD from the bottom of your HEART,

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

LISTEN for God's voice in everything you do,everywhere you go,

He will keep you on track:) Proverbs 3:5-6

from the top of my lungs i will sing,

A thousand times I've failed Still your mercy remains And should I stumble again Still I'm caught in your grace  Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control Consume me from the inside out Lord Let justice and praise become my embrace To love You from the inside out  Your will above all else, my purpose remains The art of losing myself in bringing you praise 

girl in purple

her black sandals have taken her through every motion, every season.

today, the puddles engulf her feet,

as the rain falls on her shoulders of her purple sweater 

and her blonde hair is pulled back in a loose bun with tousled braids.

she is warmed by the coffee in her hands, 

as she wanders slowly away from this moment.

my wants, not needs

i wanna swim laps till i can't breathe, climb till my limbs are raw, sleep for days, wake up to rain and blueberry pancakes, cuddle under blankets with a warm drink in my two tired hands.

i wanna ride a vespa on the streets of italy, sail in greece, run in the spanish hills, paint in the studios of france, chill in amsterdam,  and dip my feet in the waters of the bahamas.

i wanna make a difference, get a job-living the life i love, painting in galleries and breathing in the smell of spray paint on fresh bricks.

i want to create textiles that turn into shoes, shoes all over the world on different sets of feet. 

i want to work for all kinds of people and give freely. 

i want to work in a bakery were you create smiles through food and cakes of all colors.

i want to forget about the past and move forward.

i want to make beauty exist in its own way. i dont want beauty to be a face, a name but a state of feeling, a choice.

i want to play in the rain and then go inside and then warm up.

i want to sit in a cafe midday and drink wine and eat chocolate, dark chocolate.

i want to go on adventures without thinking, be spontaneous.

i want to wear cutoffs and get tattoos and piercings. 

i want college to pay off.

i have too many wants.

i want to do too many things.

his heart, her sleeve

hot tears fall down her cheeks

as the car ride comes to an end,

she was hiding this the whole time.

the pain inside was more than she wanted bear.

in that moment, his embrace was as alive as it was the day they met.

his red shirt resembled their love and passion,

and now her pain.

her hands were raw from the days before

and the soles of her feet were worn away.

as he hugs her,

each tear thats falls carries a memory,

of laughter and joy

that is now muted in shades of gray

as they fade into the background.

its a misunderstanding,

a door that could close,

but neither of them want it to.

it's a re-do,

a new beginning,

but why is she crying.

she cries, because he failed her once,

and she thinks he will do so again,

her expectations will get in the way,

and it will all end.

her fears are her failures.

the beginning feels like an end.

even though he assures her it isnt.

a day, 24 hours, is such a long time,

after watching him drive away.

the smell of coffee even 

brings forth a tearful morning.

my dream is to intern or work for TOMS.

yes please.Lord make it happen.

.

the unexamined life is not worth living

Imagine a cubicle, an office space of boredom, but this is the life you continue to live.

365 days a year, for the past 5 years, same space, smae copy machine. your life has been left unexamined. You have lived day in and day out, in a constant rotation and scheudle.

is this all you ever imagined for yourself, is this really your dream?

Leading an unexamined life is not worth living. you make the same constant mistakes.

do you ever look back and think about your actions, your experiences?

do you sit and learn nothing?

this life you lead is lame, and boring.

it says something when you can look back and take a mistake or an experience, and have emotions over it and for it. to live life without thinking about what you are doing can and may be freeing, but ultimately will leave you entangled in a lie or a mess, its chaos.

examining life is necessary to living the life you want.

to take instance and perfect them, to mold them.

as an artist, i am constantly examining my life.

and sometimes even overanalyzing.

and at the same time i overanalyze my art, thats the only to make it better

if ic onstantly created the same piiece i would stay dissatisfied.

unsatisfied. because i would be in a rut.

the only way to make somtheing better or to better understand is to ask questions and question what you have been told and what you have done.

how can you make something better if you never look at it and ask questions.