the purple tank top

so i am going to Costa Rica in January. 

and i am sitting here, questioning every second of it.

ok maybe i am just excited.

and i am running in a 5K in a month.

why do i feel older.

i am sitting here in my purple tank top.

worrying.

and drinking black coffee on ice.

i NEVER drank in black coffee.

i also never ate onions or mushrooms before this year.

i want a job 

an artsy one.

where i can take photos of people.

or paint while they watch me.

i want to not worry,

i want to just paint.

and not paint for a grade,

but paint with emotion.